Naraku, Where do Babies Come From?
by Curious Nightmare
Summary: Well, here's my first uploaded IY fic...RR Naraku torture runs rampant in this little bout of insanity.


Okay, a note…the characters are more than likely OOC because this is a purely humorous torture/parody type fic. I know that Kanna only does what Naraku says, and that she doesn't actually have a personality, but I thought, "what if she started developing one? What would happen then?" And so this fic was born. And now kiddies, on with the show…

_Disclaimer: What part of the term "disclaimer" do people not understand? They aren't mine and so we can get on with our lives now…_

Naraku sat crossed legged on the floor in his favorite "calm" position. He was thinking of the best ways to kill that annoying InuYasha when the door opened. It was Kanna, his child-like detachment.

"Yes," he asked as she came over next to him.

"Naraku-sama," the girl started, seemingly…nervous? Naraku opened his eyes to look at her. Since when had he given her emotions?

"What is it, Kanna?" Naraku asked.

"Naraku-sama," she began again, and then seeming to gather up her courage, asked, "Where do babies come from?"

Naraku facefaulted. How could she not know! She was his detachment, after all! Unless… He opened his eyes to again look at the child before him. Had he given her only a child's level of knowledge in _that_ area without knowing it? Another thought struck him.

"Why do you wish to know, Kanna?" Naraku asked regaining his composure.

"Kagura was saying that she wants to have Sesshomaru's baby," Kanna said.

Naraku groaned…trust Kagura to corrupt his oldest youngest daughter's mind. Suddenly, a plan formed in his mind.

InuYasha-tachi sat around in Kaede's hut. The old woman was fixing stew for their supper. Kagome couldn't detect any shards nearby, and InuYasha didn't sense any danger for once, so they had decided to take a break for a day to just relax and enjoy themselves. To say they were surprised when Kanna entered the hut through the front door without even trying to attack or sneak in would be an understatement.

Everyone was up in an instant, weapons poised.

"Naraku-sama told me not to attack you," she said, simply, utterly confusing the group before her.

"What's that on her forehead?" Sango asked.

Kagome reached over and took the note off of Kanna's forehead.

_My dear hated enemies,_

_Think of this as revenge for all that you've put me through, and just a way of showing my hate for InuYasha. Have fun._

_I shall hate you forever,_

_Naraku_

Kagome blinked as she read the letter out loud, then looked at Kanna.

"Um, so why are you here?" Kagome asked the child of nothingness.

"Naraku-sama wouldn't answer my question," Kanna said.

"And what question is that?" Miroku asked, suddenly more than a little nervous.

"Where do babies come from?" Kanna asked in complete innocence.

Suddenly, Kaede remembered a very important matter that she and Shippou needed to attend to immediately. Grabbing the kitsune kit, she left, leaving the others to explain.

There was a sudden outcry of explanations ranging from storks, to cabbages, and every other tale ever invented.

Hours later found an extremely confused Kanna.

"So an invisible demon stork comes to the mother's cabbage garden and sits on the cabbages until they become a baby egg that he takes to the mother who eats it and it becomes a baby in her stomach once it's digested, then it mysteriously teleports out?" Kanna asked. Everyone had had a different explanation and they had all ended up melding together into one really obscure story.

"Yeah, that's it," Kagome said, quickly.

"Yup, that's all there is to it," Miroku added.

Sango quickly nodded her agreement, as did InuYasha.

"So where does the father come in?" Kanna asked. "And why can't fathers have babies?"

Everyone stopped nodding. Quickly, they turned around into a huddle.

"Should we tell her the truth?" Miroku asked.

"Only if you want to explain it, and the difference in the sexes, houshi," Sango said.

Miroku turned red. "Erm, maybe not."

"Will somebody explain to me why _we're_ explaining this to Naraku's brat, anyway," InuYasha said. "I mean, she's his responsibility."

"Well we're not doing a very good job," Kagome said. "We can't even get our stories straight. I mean come on, a baby egg…from a cabbage? Next thing you know, she'll be trying to ripen cabbages herself!"

"That would be humorous," Miroku said.

"Not funny, houshi," Sango said. "But seriously, what are we going to tell her?"

"I've got an idea," InuYasha said, suddenly.

"It had better be a good one," Kagome warned.

InuYasha gave an evil chuckle before explaining.

Later on that evening, Kanna was explaining to Naraku all that she had learned.

"…and then after they explained why fathers don't have babies…the stork demons are all female and don't like males, so they only give the babies to females, and the father is there to protect and serve the mother obediently," Kanna said, finishing her explanation.

Naraku stared. Who had come up with this stuff? It sounded like the stuff an author wannabe would spout out! A/N: Hehehe

"I'm going to go plant these cabbages they gave me," Kanna said, suddenly, leaving. "And then I'm going to find a stork demon and…"

But the rest of her plans for the future were drowned out by the steady thump of Naraku's skull meeting the wall…and the pleasant darkness of unconsciousness.

Well there it is, folks: My first attempt at random IY humor…humor me and review, please? I don't care if all you do is leave a face, just no flames. Ja mata!


End file.
